If you are a special needs family I am sure this is a statement you hear quite often. I have caught myself saying this to other people, then later thinking "why did you say that?". Knowing good and well like me they have to push threw and do it. I always think when someone says that to me "didn't know I had a choice". I am not saying it is mean or bad of someone to say that, I understand why they say it. My life is full from the moment I get up to the moment my boys fall asleep. There is always something going on, or something always happens. Some days are good, some days are bad, I just take it one day at a time. If today was bad then I hope tomorrow is good, I can not do anything else cause it is not up to me. If it was up to me everyday would be good, I wouldn't worry myself till my stomach hurts everyday, but that is not our life.
Our life is getting up at 630 so we can wait 30 min to eat breakfast at 700. All the while saying how much he doesn't want to go to school or he doesn't feel good (let me say his school is good with him, they are patient and I know they are doing everything they can for him, he just does not like school). At 720 we brush teeth, put deodorant on, comb hair and get clothes and shoes on (thankful this year he is putting his own socks and shoes on cause I had to do it previous years or he would be upset getting one the bus). By 730 I am getting clothes on myself and little brother so we can be out the door by 745 cause this year I am driving my son to school (will share the bus story another time). We get to school and dropped off by 810, then I drive the 20+ miles back to my home to wait 20 min to take my younger son to school. So at 850 I am leaving my house for the second time in the day to take younger son to his school. I am back home by 930 unless I have to run errands. Believe me I have more than enough to keep me busy till it is time to pick up. Plus at least once a week I get a call from the school nurse or someone at my older son's school that he came to see them, didn't feel good or something happened. It is 245 when I leave my house for pick ups first at 300 is younger son, told he has had a good day (I am lucky he loves going to his school). Then it is 310 and I am picking up older son, he has had a good day (even when I get a call he says he had a good day because to him he did, he only had the one blip so his day was good. I let him think that because if not his anxiety would be high and I don't want that). Get home at 330 ABA is here for both boys till 530. Then it is dinner time, then baths and bed time routine.
The point to that long analysis of our day is we never really stop. Even though I get that "break" while they are in school it isn't a break I worry constantly. I worry about my older son, if he is having issues or if his anxiety is taking hold of him and causing him to get angry and lash out. I worry the other kids don't understand him and why he does the things he does. I worry his teachers don't see the funny sweet boy he is because of his outbursts and whinning. I worry about my younger son not because of anything like my older son but because of him not communicating. I worry he will never talk, never write, never understand what I am saying, never be a kid. I worry he will never function past the age of a child even when he is 20. BUT
I DO IT everyday with out hesitation,
I DO IT for my boys.
I DO IT cause I do not have a choice if I do not do it, how would it get done? We just keep swimming, One day at a time.