This is our life with autism. My son was diagnosed with autism almost 1 year ago since then we have been threw a lot of ups and downs. Don't get me wrong we are luckier than most the second school he went to (yes he has been to 2 schools in a year if you want more on that please read this blog ) they took his medical diagnosis and seemed to want to work with us on his education. Then almost a year later things have seemed to change.
When we first went to his "new" school they did everything they could to help him transition and it went well he took right to the school and his new teacher. His teacher was wonderful she did research and really seemed to want to help him he also got a day treatment therapist (DTT) who helped a lot. At his old school I would have to go get him at least once a week and they even suspended him one time also. His new school thought that was awful how could they ask you to come get him, how could they suspend a 5 year old with autism he doesn't even know what that means. He only had 6 other kids in his class so that helped too. Deep down I knew the following year would not be the same he would have a bigger classroom, a different teacher, it would not be good. I always look at the negative it helps me so when things do fall a part it is easier for me to deal with.
School year starts it goes as I figured he hated it did not want to go the first 2 weeks were awful one day he was carried in screaming by his DTT that was hard on me to watch but I knew he needed to understand that the behavior he was using would not work and he had to go to school. After that he settled in and it wasn't too bad he had episodes but they were controlled. The school was supposedly working on amending his IEP to include his autism (why it was not already in will be in another blog) it seemed things were falling into place. Until he got sick.
About 5 weeks after school started he got a cough that stayed with him for over a week, we went to the dr. to find out he had bronchitis so he was put on antibiotics and cough syrup. That was the down fall, the cough syrup caused his behavior to go out of control he took his clothes off twice and peed on the principles office floor (she doesn't really like my son so this did not help and fyi he didnt really know what he was doing the med. had his mind going crazy but she won't see that) before we found out what was going on with the medicine. Ever since then it has been down hill. He gets sent home at least once a week and <gasp> he just got suspended earlier this week (only a year ago it was so awful for a school to do that to a child like him). This last time I had to go get him the principle had enough nerve to tell me my child didn't act like a normal 6 year old........................... I gave you a moment to let that sink in. Yes the principle of his school said my autistic child did not act like a normal 6 year old. I was livid.
No ma'am he is not a normal 6 year old he has an IQ probably larger than hers, he can do addition and subtraction in his head, his teacher hands out a paper and before she turns around to tell the kids what to do my son has already done the work because he can read on at least a 3rd grade level. So no he is not a normal 6 year old he is an awesome 6 year old who happens to have autism so he does have quirks but I wouldn't change a thing about him. He was sitting right there when she said it too so later that day we were talking and he told me "momma I try to be normal" and that right there is why I made the decision along with his case worker to send him to a different school that has an autism program that knows how special and "normal" he is because we have it bad enough with out people that are supposed to lift a child up but instead want to hold him down. My son is not perfect and yes he can be a hand full but to me he is "normal".
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Saturday, June 13, 2015
My new hobby......
I have always liked to go thrifting it just makes me happy. A few months ago I had an idea to start selling some of my finds on ebay. Now do not think I am trying to make a living doing that because that is not the case. It helps me to keep up my thrifting hobby, see I do not use money out of our checking account for my thrift trips I only use money I have made. So if I have no money I do not go thrifting, I also sell things on my local yard sale page but not a lot of my thrifted items, mostly my children's old toys or clothes. What got me started on ebay was finding a box of the fisher price play food at the goodwill it was 3.95 by the time I sold everything my profit was around $40, not bad for a $4 investment. Around the same time I also found a new in package set of sky dancer hair clips from 1995 they cost me .55 after shipping and fees I made $45! Of course because of that I caught the bug and I love looking for my treasures every week.
It becomes a game for me to see what I can find for the week, since I don't have a smart phone I have to depend on my research and gut to find my items, a lot of the time I am right but sometimes they are duds. For example this week I found some vintage mcnugget kids meal toys, a topper dawn angie doll and a polly pocket compact all for 1.60! I should be able to make a profit of around $20 for those items alone. That is what makes it so fun and addicting I also find things for my children too and this helps to pay for that also. Yard sale season has just started so I am going to try my hand at getting items are yard sales the last few months I had only been finding them at thrift stores. Today I found 2 monster high dolls for .50 a piece with all their clothing and shoes hoping those will be a good find for me, also found a couple more items but those are my best I think.
I call what I do thrifting but some people call it "picking" not sure if that is what I do since it is more fun and hobby for me not a job. Anyways my favorite place to "pick" is the salvation army in my town. They have the best prices and a lot of the time they have more vintage items than the goodwill. An example of this is about 3 months ago I went in and was looking at the toys for my kids and found some original 80's transformers! They have issues but still they only cost my .25 a piece so I will make some kind of profit from them. I found quite a few other items from the 80's the next couple of weeks (some lady must have cleaned her son's old toys from her attic or garage and donated them). I have not listed any of these items because of doing the research for them but have gotten that taken care of and am ready to take pics and get these guys listed.
I may do a monthly recap of what my profits are on here if I can actually keep up with everything, but it is summer time so it should be easier to find time. I hope to be able to still go thrifting this summer it was so easy during the school year because 5 days a week I was taking my son to school so one day it was going to the goodwill then another it was going to the salvation army. Now that he isn't in school we will have to make time to do it plus he will be with me so it will make it harder but I plan to get threw it cause I do enjoy it so much! And like I said every stay at home mom needs something they enjoy!
It becomes a game for me to see what I can find for the week, since I don't have a smart phone I have to depend on my research and gut to find my items, a lot of the time I am right but sometimes they are duds. For example this week I found some vintage mcnugget kids meal toys, a topper dawn angie doll and a polly pocket compact all for 1.60! I should be able to make a profit of around $20 for those items alone. That is what makes it so fun and addicting I also find things for my children too and this helps to pay for that also. Yard sale season has just started so I am going to try my hand at getting items are yard sales the last few months I had only been finding them at thrift stores. Today I found 2 monster high dolls for .50 a piece with all their clothing and shoes hoping those will be a good find for me, also found a couple more items but those are my best I think.
I call what I do thrifting but some people call it "picking" not sure if that is what I do since it is more fun and hobby for me not a job. Anyways my favorite place to "pick" is the salvation army in my town. They have the best prices and a lot of the time they have more vintage items than the goodwill. An example of this is about 3 months ago I went in and was looking at the toys for my kids and found some original 80's transformers! They have issues but still they only cost my .25 a piece so I will make some kind of profit from them. I found quite a few other items from the 80's the next couple of weeks (some lady must have cleaned her son's old toys from her attic or garage and donated them). I have not listed any of these items because of doing the research for them but have gotten that taken care of and am ready to take pics and get these guys listed.
I may do a monthly recap of what my profits are on here if I can actually keep up with everything, but it is summer time so it should be easier to find time. I hope to be able to still go thrifting this summer it was so easy during the school year because 5 days a week I was taking my son to school so one day it was going to the goodwill then another it was going to the salvation army. Now that he isn't in school we will have to make time to do it plus he will be with me so it will make it harder but I plan to get threw it cause I do enjoy it so much! And like I said every stay at home mom needs something they enjoy!
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Time..... For kids..... Adults there is a difference......
Time is a funny thing when you are on child time it seems to go by so slow, but when you are on adult time you can't even blink and a day has gone by. When you are a kid it seems to take an eternity for school to end, your birthday and Christmas to come. When you are an adult school (for your kids) goes faster than taking a breath, you dont want your birthday to come and Christmas is here faster than it takes Santa to open his sack.
As a very good example my last blog post was on January 19th it is now June 10th almost exactly 6 months. What exactly have I been doing in that six months, well just living my life that is flying by before my eyes. When you say 6 months it seems like along time but when you are living it, not so much. On January 30th I had my baby boys 1st birthday party it seems like we just planned that and almost 1 week ago we celebrated our oldest 6th birthday (which is June 2nd) and all I can say is where does the time go? I really can't answer that because I am not sure myself. My house doesn't get cleaned, my clothes stay piled, my car looks a mess but yet I am still exhausted. What on earth am I doing.. Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months and that letter is still laying in a random spot in my house. Time is a funny thing.........
Yesterday was my son's last day of kindergarten, he actually made it through the school year which I was very happy about and he did very good once he moved schools but it is still crazy for me to think he has gotten through his first year of school. Of course to me it seems like yesterday that I was in school but that was *gasp* 16 years ago, WHAT, wow I am getting old. On child time when I was in school it seemed to take 10 years to get to that summer vacation and then I had to wait another 10 years for Christmas. My son has 8 weeks then it is back to school and 1st grade and it does sound like a long time but we all now in adult time it is not, then it will be fall/halloween/thanksgiving, then winter/christmas. My baby will be 2 then my son will be out of school again he will turn 7 then go back for 2nd grade, my gosh can I go back to child time please at this rate my babies are going to be grown before I can breathe in and exhale.
Hopefully I can get back to posting on here but we shall see how adult time treats me if not I will check in, in another 6 months or so to see how everything has been..
As a very good example my last blog post was on January 19th it is now June 10th almost exactly 6 months. What exactly have I been doing in that six months, well just living my life that is flying by before my eyes. When you say 6 months it seems like along time but when you are living it, not so much. On January 30th I had my baby boys 1st birthday party it seems like we just planned that and almost 1 week ago we celebrated our oldest 6th birthday (which is June 2nd) and all I can say is where does the time go? I really can't answer that because I am not sure myself. My house doesn't get cleaned, my clothes stay piled, my car looks a mess but yet I am still exhausted. What on earth am I doing.. Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months and that letter is still laying in a random spot in my house. Time is a funny thing.........
Yesterday was my son's last day of kindergarten, he actually made it through the school year which I was very happy about and he did very good once he moved schools but it is still crazy for me to think he has gotten through his first year of school. Of course to me it seems like yesterday that I was in school but that was *gasp* 16 years ago, WHAT, wow I am getting old. On child time when I was in school it seemed to take 10 years to get to that summer vacation and then I had to wait another 10 years for Christmas. My son has 8 weeks then it is back to school and 1st grade and it does sound like a long time but we all now in adult time it is not, then it will be fall/halloween/thanksgiving, then winter/christmas. My baby will be 2 then my son will be out of school again he will turn 7 then go back for 2nd grade, my gosh can I go back to child time please at this rate my babies are going to be grown before I can breathe in and exhale.
Hopefully I can get back to posting on here but we shall see how adult time treats me if not I will check in, in another 6 months or so to see how everything has been..
Monday, January 19, 2015
When It Rains.... It Pours... Hug Your Fur Babies Everyday...
As you have read by now from my last post my son was recently diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum with audio sensory disorder, he was also kicked out of his old school and started a new school all this happened in one week. The next week was even worse, let's just say November was not good to me this year..... Along with my oldest son and his "issues" my baby boy got a sinus infection that week and I noticed my dog was acting a little funny like she did not feel well, I told her she couldnt get sick on me after the week I had previously, but it turned out she could.....
As the week went on she kept getting sicker, she wouldnt eat or drink and by the end of the week she would not even get off the couch to go outside. I knew something was wrong we called her vet and they told us to bring her in and they would fit her in to be checked out. Our vet is about 30 min. away from where we live so my dad rode with me and the boys since my husbad had to work. They called when we were about 10 min. away from the office to let me know she was very sick and they needed to to an ultrasound on her. They had done an xray and found a mass in her stomach and wanted to see if they could identify what it was. I immedately broke down there is only one thing a mass can be.
They waited until I got there to prep her for the ultrasound, so I could see what they were seeing as well. I cried the whole time cause there was no way it was going to be a happy ending, even though my husband kept telling me she had just eaten something that did not agree with her system. As I had figured though my worst fears were confirmed as she laid on the table with a dr. and 2 nurses around her, "the mass is not in her stomach it is actually her liver, I am so sorry but it is cancer, her whole liver is covered and it is going into her pancreas, there isnt much we can do but make her comfortable until you decide what you want to do". I leaned down and kissed her head the nurse was rubbing her and said "she is such a good girl, so sweet and loving", that should have made me feel good but it made it even harder to deal with the news cause that is exactly why I wanted her to stay with me she was the best dog I could not ask for a better dog than she was.
I already knew in my mind what I needed to do, I needed to do what was best for her not me. Had it been up to me I would have kept her with me until it was my time to go, but that isnt possible and it is not what is best for her she was in a lot of pain and couldnt eat or drink so I made the decision to let her go. She had saved me many times, I adopted her when she was 6 weeks old on the day of her passing she was 10 1/2 years old and in that 10 years a lot of things have happened. If it hadnt been for her I never would have made it, so when I made the decision it felt like I was giving up on her when she had never given up on me but my dad told me that wasnt the case it was the best for HER and he went in the room with her cause I could not deal with that. It has been 2 months since I lost her and it is still so hard to deal with, I still feel like she is in the house, I even swear I can hear her. I had her in my life for 10 years but 100 would not have been enough, she was 1 in a million and nothing will be the same.
As the week went on she kept getting sicker, she wouldnt eat or drink and by the end of the week she would not even get off the couch to go outside. I knew something was wrong we called her vet and they told us to bring her in and they would fit her in to be checked out. Our vet is about 30 min. away from where we live so my dad rode with me and the boys since my husbad had to work. They called when we were about 10 min. away from the office to let me know she was very sick and they needed to to an ultrasound on her. They had done an xray and found a mass in her stomach and wanted to see if they could identify what it was. I immedately broke down there is only one thing a mass can be.
They waited until I got there to prep her for the ultrasound, so I could see what they were seeing as well. I cried the whole time cause there was no way it was going to be a happy ending, even though my husband kept telling me she had just eaten something that did not agree with her system. As I had figured though my worst fears were confirmed as she laid on the table with a dr. and 2 nurses around her, "the mass is not in her stomach it is actually her liver, I am so sorry but it is cancer, her whole liver is covered and it is going into her pancreas, there isnt much we can do but make her comfortable until you decide what you want to do". I leaned down and kissed her head the nurse was rubbing her and said "she is such a good girl, so sweet and loving", that should have made me feel good but it made it even harder to deal with the news cause that is exactly why I wanted her to stay with me she was the best dog I could not ask for a better dog than she was.
I already knew in my mind what I needed to do, I needed to do what was best for her not me. Had it been up to me I would have kept her with me until it was my time to go, but that isnt possible and it is not what is best for her she was in a lot of pain and couldnt eat or drink so I made the decision to let her go. She had saved me many times, I adopted her when she was 6 weeks old on the day of her passing she was 10 1/2 years old and in that 10 years a lot of things have happened. If it hadnt been for her I never would have made it, so when I made the decision it felt like I was giving up on her when she had never given up on me but my dad told me that wasnt the case it was the best for HER and he went in the room with her cause I could not deal with that. It has been 2 months since I lost her and it is still so hard to deal with, I still feel like she is in the house, I even swear I can hear her. I had her in my life for 10 years but 100 would not have been enough, she was 1 in a million and nothing will be the same.
Friday, January 9, 2015
A New Year... A New Blog...
Ok so I started doing "daily" blogs in October of 2014 then November came and I kind of fell off the face of the earth.. Again... There were some things going on in my life at that time that were not mentioned, because to tell you the truth I did not want to deal with them. Of course when it is life you have to deal with it, so with the holidays out of the way and a new year ahead of me I am going to come clean with my new life.
Here it goes..... My 5 year old has always had so quirks about him ever since he was a baby, he cried A LOT in fact he cried so much that I never knew his 2 year molars came in till the Dr. told me, most kids are in so much pain from that most mothers know, not me. When he was about 16 months old if you gave him colored goldfish he only ate the orange ones, hmmmm he will grow out of it, no no he has not at 5 he still does this. When family members would try to hug him he would turn his back so they had to hug him from behind, maybe he does not want to fell trapped, this has gotten better he does face people for hugs now sometimes. He was never a child that liked to be picked up and put on your shoulders, he would scream until you put him back down on the ground. He never liked the sound of a vacuum cleaner or a hair dryer, he ran for his life every time you used one, it got so bad I quit drying my hair and we got hard wood floors so we would not have to use a vacuum, but again this is probably normal, right?
Then he started nursery school, that went good for about a month, then I started getting the "can we see you for a min." talks telling me he had a bad day that day, he screamed at circle time or fell to the floor when he did not want to stop a game. "I will talk to him about it" was my response every time, I finally could not take it anymore so I took him out. My excuse was that we were having a new baby and I would not be able to take him in the cold mornings with a newborn baby in tow, which in all honesty is true but if he was not having the trouble I would have tried. I assumed that he was a little spoiled and not used to being in that kind of environment and he missed me since I was all he really knew.
I wish now I had looked more into it then maybe we would have had an easier time with "big" school as my son calls it. When it came time to take him for his kindergarten orientation I was very nervous, what if his old problems with school came back how would they deal with it, so I made sure to let his new teacher know he was a little different. Of course my husband told her his problem was he was spoiled and only wanted to do what he wanted, thanks for the support babe really appreciate it. Well the first few days went pretty good, I even decided to take a day trip with one of my friends, I mean what could go wrong in a few hours? Turns out everything, got a call from my husband that our son was being sent home from school early he had a meltdown at school and they were not sure what to do so they sent him home for the day. The min. I got home I made a call to his Dr. because in my gut there was something off, he was not just spoiled it was something more.
His Dr. fit him in a week later, as I sat in the office talking to him about my concerns he agreed fully with me that my son has something going on other than being a spoiled child. He did not believe it was ADHD or ADD, he was looking more at audio sensory disorder, but most of the time this has something attached to it he told me, not mentioning anything in particular. I had researched audio sensory disorder before our appointment so I had already pretty much guessed that, but what could it be attached too? Of course he wanted him taken to a child development Dr to be examined and diagnosed, that takes at least 2 months to get an appointment so it was a while to wait when you want answers, so of course I researched and what I found out knocked the wind out of me.
A few months earlier my mom and I had attended a birthday party for a family members child, she had a few of her friends there that we did not know, my son had one of his major meltdowns, there was a little boy there that had autism and he became very upset so I had to take my son to the car to calm down. After the party my mom told me the girl had come up to her and asked if we had ever had my son tested for autism, soon as the words came out of my moms mouth I said "are you trying to say that my son has autism?" "that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard" "if he had autism it must be on the highest end" I was furious that she would even think there was a possibility. Why? Because in my mind a child with autism has learning disabilities, they have a heard time communicating and that was not my son. I know that is a stereotype and I am ashamed that was my thinking, it is the way most people think you can not change that.
Things at school never got any better they just stayed about the same mostly bad days with some good. Then one day my son was having an episode which ended in him throwing a chair that nearly hit another student. So he became the first kindergarten student to be expelled, yes you read right to be expelled from school in the city district. I do not agree with this at all, in fact no one I talk to agrees with how this was handled, the principal said he did it to get the child development clinic to get him an appointment faster, but I do not believe that. I think he just did not want to deal with my son since he was such a problem. One major reason I felt this was dealt with in a wrong manner was because my son was having a meltdown and they let the resource office yell at him, I cried when I found this out, how could they treat my 5 year old that way? I looked into sending him to a different school but was told it would not be good for him, so I sucked it up and kept going.
The next couple of months we took it day by day my son was not doing well in school at all, that was in the behavior part he was excelling in his academics. He kept having outbursts so they did a behavior plan for him, which I though was and IEP, they do not explain a lot to you, you really have to be an advocate for your self, you have to research for yourself they will do little to help you understand anything, I still do not understand much but am trying everyday to learn more. I cried a lot at this time because to me it was hopeless I would talk to him everyday and 4 out of 5 days he would not do good. It finally came to a head when he went into his classroom and told them he was going to kill them, I knew this was coming because he had said it to me over the weekend. Of course he was sent home early again, I can not even tell you how many times that school sent him home because they did not know how to deal with him, he probably was home more than he went to school. So I called the child development clinic to explain what was happening and they fit him in, I could see a glimmer of hope, but not for long.
We got our Dr. appointment on the fifth of November. After 2 hours of examination and questions the Dr sat in front of my husband and myself she asked "so what do you think is going on with your son?" I said "well I think he has audio sensory disorder" then she said "well we believe he has that too but most of the time it is attached to something else, have you ever researched---" as her words were coming out I knew what she was going to say I had 2 months to think about everything that had happened, the things my son had said or did, research it, I knew. She finish her sentence with "autism" even though I had 2 months to prepare I still felt the tears filling my eyes, she must have seen them too cause she handed me the tissues, I was not crying because of his diagnosis I was crying because after 2 1/2 long months I was getting the answers I needed, my son was not a bad kid as he was being labeled he just had autism and that is not the end of the world.
My husband on the other hand had not had that time to think or research so to him it was. The Dr. told us that he was being medically diagnosed but most school systems do not take a medical diagnosis so it would be better for us to have him do the ADOS testing to confirm it if we wanted it, of course my husband did. Once we got in the car I asked if it was what he had thought and he simply said "they are wrong" of course I asked what he was going to say if the test said he was, he simply said "it will be wrong", at that moment my glimmer of hope faded I was in this alone. I should have realized he needed time to process everything, I had am idea when we went in to the Dr. what they may say, he was blindsided. Also I was never alone I had my friends and family by my side they all have been super supportive, he will be by the end also like I stated he just needed time to process and see our son is the same little boy he has always been we just have answers now.
It did not end there though the next day when he went back to school I informed the principal of the diagnosis, went to get groceries and try to be "normal" again when I got the call. "Can you hold the principle would like to speak with you", "Your son had another meltdown today as I was walking him out of the room he took off running and almost got out of the front doors before I could catch him----" I knew what was coming next I had been waiting on it since day 3 of school "I have talked to the superintendent of the school district and since we have done EVERYTHING we can possible do for him, he is no longer a student of the city school district you have to send him to county". Yep just like that, they didn't want to deal with my problem child anymore because they did not have to, in hind sight I realize they only kept him there to cover their bases, because if they had not done EVERYTHING as he so loudly put it then it could have came back on them. Now I do know that since we are county residents that what they did is not illegal it is however petty, childish and amazingly disrespectful. Like I said before though you can't fight the stereotype of autism, unless it is your child that has it, then your views become a little different.
On the tenth of November he started at his new school in the county district, so let's put this in perspective, in less than 1 week my son was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder with audio sensory issues, then kicked out of his old school and put into a new school. Let's just say I do not think I have any nerves left, a child with his "issues" has a hard time with change and this was a lot on him I expected it to be the worst thing we had faced but my hope was restored. He did amazing, he loved his new school, they had a plan before he got there to put him in a small classroom to get him adjusted, then they have tweaked it to help with his sensory issues as they go. He still has his days but he has only had one major meltdown, which I will get more into that in another post, but at the old school he was having one a week. What his old school did was not right but it was the best thing they could have done for him. I just hope that if they get another student like him that is a city student and they have to deal with them, that they find out how to deal with them, unlike the way they dealt with my son
So as you can see I do have a very good excuse for not blogging for the last couple of months, I am hoping to blog about his progress since he is going to be getting applied behavior through school and he will be doing occupational therapy. I also have to learn how to deal with things, so I am hoping to blog about my experinces too, it is all a learning experience for everyone now. The one thing that gets to me is when people do find out that he is on the spectrum they always say "oh I am so sorry" like he has a terminal illness, now I know that this is a life long struggle and at times I do get a little overwhelmed when I think about it but he is going to be fine, it has taken the past two months for me to realize this but a momma just knows.
Here it goes..... My 5 year old has always had so quirks about him ever since he was a baby, he cried A LOT in fact he cried so much that I never knew his 2 year molars came in till the Dr. told me, most kids are in so much pain from that most mothers know, not me. When he was about 16 months old if you gave him colored goldfish he only ate the orange ones, hmmmm he will grow out of it, no no he has not at 5 he still does this. When family members would try to hug him he would turn his back so they had to hug him from behind, maybe he does not want to fell trapped, this has gotten better he does face people for hugs now sometimes. He was never a child that liked to be picked up and put on your shoulders, he would scream until you put him back down on the ground. He never liked the sound of a vacuum cleaner or a hair dryer, he ran for his life every time you used one, it got so bad I quit drying my hair and we got hard wood floors so we would not have to use a vacuum, but again this is probably normal, right?
Then he started nursery school, that went good for about a month, then I started getting the "can we see you for a min." talks telling me he had a bad day that day, he screamed at circle time or fell to the floor when he did not want to stop a game. "I will talk to him about it" was my response every time, I finally could not take it anymore so I took him out. My excuse was that we were having a new baby and I would not be able to take him in the cold mornings with a newborn baby in tow, which in all honesty is true but if he was not having the trouble I would have tried. I assumed that he was a little spoiled and not used to being in that kind of environment and he missed me since I was all he really knew.
I wish now I had looked more into it then maybe we would have had an easier time with "big" school as my son calls it. When it came time to take him for his kindergarten orientation I was very nervous, what if his old problems with school came back how would they deal with it, so I made sure to let his new teacher know he was a little different. Of course my husband told her his problem was he was spoiled and only wanted to do what he wanted, thanks for the support babe really appreciate it. Well the first few days went pretty good, I even decided to take a day trip with one of my friends, I mean what could go wrong in a few hours? Turns out everything, got a call from my husband that our son was being sent home from school early he had a meltdown at school and they were not sure what to do so they sent him home for the day. The min. I got home I made a call to his Dr. because in my gut there was something off, he was not just spoiled it was something more.
His Dr. fit him in a week later, as I sat in the office talking to him about my concerns he agreed fully with me that my son has something going on other than being a spoiled child. He did not believe it was ADHD or ADD, he was looking more at audio sensory disorder, but most of the time this has something attached to it he told me, not mentioning anything in particular. I had researched audio sensory disorder before our appointment so I had already pretty much guessed that, but what could it be attached too? Of course he wanted him taken to a child development Dr to be examined and diagnosed, that takes at least 2 months to get an appointment so it was a while to wait when you want answers, so of course I researched and what I found out knocked the wind out of me.
A few months earlier my mom and I had attended a birthday party for a family members child, she had a few of her friends there that we did not know, my son had one of his major meltdowns, there was a little boy there that had autism and he became very upset so I had to take my son to the car to calm down. After the party my mom told me the girl had come up to her and asked if we had ever had my son tested for autism, soon as the words came out of my moms mouth I said "are you trying to say that my son has autism?" "that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard" "if he had autism it must be on the highest end" I was furious that she would even think there was a possibility. Why? Because in my mind a child with autism has learning disabilities, they have a heard time communicating and that was not my son. I know that is a stereotype and I am ashamed that was my thinking, it is the way most people think you can not change that.
Things at school never got any better they just stayed about the same mostly bad days with some good. Then one day my son was having an episode which ended in him throwing a chair that nearly hit another student. So he became the first kindergarten student to be expelled, yes you read right to be expelled from school in the city district. I do not agree with this at all, in fact no one I talk to agrees with how this was handled, the principal said he did it to get the child development clinic to get him an appointment faster, but I do not believe that. I think he just did not want to deal with my son since he was such a problem. One major reason I felt this was dealt with in a wrong manner was because my son was having a meltdown and they let the resource office yell at him, I cried when I found this out, how could they treat my 5 year old that way? I looked into sending him to a different school but was told it would not be good for him, so I sucked it up and kept going.
The next couple of months we took it day by day my son was not doing well in school at all, that was in the behavior part he was excelling in his academics. He kept having outbursts so they did a behavior plan for him, which I though was and IEP, they do not explain a lot to you, you really have to be an advocate for your self, you have to research for yourself they will do little to help you understand anything, I still do not understand much but am trying everyday to learn more. I cried a lot at this time because to me it was hopeless I would talk to him everyday and 4 out of 5 days he would not do good. It finally came to a head when he went into his classroom and told them he was going to kill them, I knew this was coming because he had said it to me over the weekend. Of course he was sent home early again, I can not even tell you how many times that school sent him home because they did not know how to deal with him, he probably was home more than he went to school. So I called the child development clinic to explain what was happening and they fit him in, I could see a glimmer of hope, but not for long.
We got our Dr. appointment on the fifth of November. After 2 hours of examination and questions the Dr sat in front of my husband and myself she asked "so what do you think is going on with your son?" I said "well I think he has audio sensory disorder" then she said "well we believe he has that too but most of the time it is attached to something else, have you ever researched---" as her words were coming out I knew what she was going to say I had 2 months to think about everything that had happened, the things my son had said or did, research it, I knew. She finish her sentence with "autism" even though I had 2 months to prepare I still felt the tears filling my eyes, she must have seen them too cause she handed me the tissues, I was not crying because of his diagnosis I was crying because after 2 1/2 long months I was getting the answers I needed, my son was not a bad kid as he was being labeled he just had autism and that is not the end of the world.
My husband on the other hand had not had that time to think or research so to him it was. The Dr. told us that he was being medically diagnosed but most school systems do not take a medical diagnosis so it would be better for us to have him do the ADOS testing to confirm it if we wanted it, of course my husband did. Once we got in the car I asked if it was what he had thought and he simply said "they are wrong" of course I asked what he was going to say if the test said he was, he simply said "it will be wrong", at that moment my glimmer of hope faded I was in this alone. I should have realized he needed time to process everything, I had am idea when we went in to the Dr. what they may say, he was blindsided. Also I was never alone I had my friends and family by my side they all have been super supportive, he will be by the end also like I stated he just needed time to process and see our son is the same little boy he has always been we just have answers now.
It did not end there though the next day when he went back to school I informed the principal of the diagnosis, went to get groceries and try to be "normal" again when I got the call. "Can you hold the principle would like to speak with you", "Your son had another meltdown today as I was walking him out of the room he took off running and almost got out of the front doors before I could catch him----" I knew what was coming next I had been waiting on it since day 3 of school "I have talked to the superintendent of the school district and since we have done EVERYTHING we can possible do for him, he is no longer a student of the city school district you have to send him to county". Yep just like that, they didn't want to deal with my problem child anymore because they did not have to, in hind sight I realize they only kept him there to cover their bases, because if they had not done EVERYTHING as he so loudly put it then it could have came back on them. Now I do know that since we are county residents that what they did is not illegal it is however petty, childish and amazingly disrespectful. Like I said before though you can't fight the stereotype of autism, unless it is your child that has it, then your views become a little different.
On the tenth of November he started at his new school in the county district, so let's put this in perspective, in less than 1 week my son was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder with audio sensory issues, then kicked out of his old school and put into a new school. Let's just say I do not think I have any nerves left, a child with his "issues" has a hard time with change and this was a lot on him I expected it to be the worst thing we had faced but my hope was restored. He did amazing, he loved his new school, they had a plan before he got there to put him in a small classroom to get him adjusted, then they have tweaked it to help with his sensory issues as they go. He still has his days but he has only had one major meltdown, which I will get more into that in another post, but at the old school he was having one a week. What his old school did was not right but it was the best thing they could have done for him. I just hope that if they get another student like him that is a city student and they have to deal with them, that they find out how to deal with them, unlike the way they dealt with my son
So as you can see I do have a very good excuse for not blogging for the last couple of months, I am hoping to blog about his progress since he is going to be getting applied behavior through school and he will be doing occupational therapy. I also have to learn how to deal with things, so I am hoping to blog about my experinces too, it is all a learning experience for everyone now. The one thing that gets to me is when people do find out that he is on the spectrum they always say "oh I am so sorry" like he has a terminal illness, now I know that this is a life long struggle and at times I do get a little overwhelmed when I think about it but he is going to be fine, it has taken the past two months for me to realize this but a momma just knows.
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