When It Rains.... It Pours... Hug Your Fur Babies Everyday...

     As you have read by now from my last post my son was recently diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum with audio sensory disorder, he was also kicked out of his old school and started a new school all this happened in one week. The next week was even worse, let's just say November was not good to me this year..... Along with my oldest son and his "issues" my baby boy got a sinus infection that week and I noticed my dog was acting a little funny like she did not feel well, I told her she couldnt get sick on me after the week I had previously, but it turned out she could.....

     As the week went on she kept getting sicker, she wouldnt eat or drink and by the end of the week she would not even get off the couch to go outside. I knew something was wrong we called her vet and they told us to bring her in and they would fit her in to be checked out. Our vet is about 30 min. away from where we live so my dad rode with me and the boys since my husbad had to work. They called when we were about 10 min. away from the office to let me know she was very sick and they needed to to an ultrasound on her. They had done an xray and found a mass in her stomach and wanted to see if they could identify what it was. I immedately broke down there is only one thing a mass can be.

     They waited until I got there to prep her for the ultrasound, so I could see what they were seeing as well. I cried the whole time cause there was no way it was going to be a happy ending, even though my husband kept telling me she had just eaten something that did not agree with her system. As I had figured though my worst fears were confirmed as she laid on the table with a dr. and 2 nurses around her, "the mass is not in her stomach it is actually her liver, I am so sorry but it is cancer, her whole liver is covered and it is going into her pancreas, there isnt much we can do but make her comfortable until you decide what you want to do". I leaned down and kissed her head the nurse was rubbing her and said "she is such a good girl, so sweet and loving", that should have made me feel good but it made it even harder to deal with the news cause that is exactly why I wanted her to stay with me she was the best dog I could not ask for a better dog than she was.

     I already knew in my mind what I needed to do, I needed to do what was best for her not me. Had it been up to me I would have kept her with me until it was my time to go, but that isnt possible and it is not what is best for her she was in a lot of pain and couldnt eat or drink so I made the decision to let her go. She had saved me many times, I adopted her when she was 6 weeks old on the day of her passing she was 10 1/2 years old and in that 10 years a lot of things have happened. If it hadnt been for her I never would have made it, so when I made the decision it felt like I was giving up on her when she had never given up on me but my dad told me that wasnt the case it was the best for HER and he went in the room with her cause I could not deal with that. It has been 2 months since I lost her and it is still so hard to deal with, I still feel like she is in the house, I even swear I can hear her. I had her in my life for 10 years but 100 would not have been enough, she was 1 in a million and nothing will be the same.