Let me start off by saying I know we have it way easier than other families that have to deal with school systems but I feel that in all cases at one time or another something goes wrong or is left out. So with that being said let me get started. When I have to go to an IEP meeting even though everyone is very nice and accommodating I always get very bad anxiety. It is not fun going into a room with at least 5 other people that want to tell you what your child does wrong or how he spit at them, took his clothes off, cussed like a sailor or just flat out refused to do his work. It is hard because to you they only want to focus on the negative none of the positive which in the end I think out weighs the negative.
In my first post about our life with autism (if you have not read it here) this is the post I was talking about to come read. When we first started our IEP meetings I was naive I thought they would do what was best for your child but I came to find that was not true. We had about 3 different IEP meetings last year and not one time was I told my son's diagnosis of autism would not be in his IEP of course I did not ask for a copy to take home to read either but did not think I had to. Now wish I would have because I certainly would not have said ok to that. So of course that cause problems when school started this year because he could not get the services he needed cause he was not considered a child with autism. They finally amended it to be in there but by then he was in his new school and had they put it in last year this year may have gone differently.
My advice for handling an IEP meeting is to not take any chances if you want to take an autism advocate then do it (it is my son's case worker for his dd waiver but there are advocates around where ever you live you just have to research and find one) wish I would have done that so I would have understood more. Do not go in blind make sure you read and research so you know what they are talking about. If you need support take someone with you (I never had to because he case worker and DTT are awesome they were very supportive and helped me a lot this year). Also before you sign anything ask them for a copy to take home and read to make sure everything is in it that you feel needs to be had I done that his autism would have been in it last year. A lot of people will tell you to go in there guns blazing ready for a fight but I say if the school is trying to work with you and you have had no issues try to listen first then if they want a fight bring it. Most importantly do not let it get you down and upset you they will tell you things you do not want to hear but deep down you know your child is awesome and just has a few different quirks to deal with, they will be fine in the long run it is just a bump in the road of many.
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